WORST CAST REPLACEMENT EVER

WAYLON?....Waylon?...who calls their kid Waylon?

Typos

Only made it to today's episode 10 minutes from the end.

Apologies though forthwith that I have been mis-spelling the Toad's real name all my life. Jarrodd Rebecchi is correct and made me smile as it's so close to Jarrolds which might yet make it to the baby naming list. Jarrold Howes...hmmm.

What little I caught involved Kate, Ringo and Lucas mascarading as a 'modern' family (they described themselves as two generations but with about 5 years age difference all round this is just out and out deceit) in a bridal boutique, checking out dresses for Kate to 'get married' in. This decoy allowed Donna to measure up a dress in the window that she loves but can't afford. She and Ringo are engaged - did you know that? The notion that her invention the 'shrugalero' has catapulted her to the brink of fashion stardom is entirely undermined by her theft of another dress design...it's such a shame...those writers do forget so quickly.

Anyway, after a pantomime that involved Donna hiding under layers of a revolting meringue dress while the boutique owner missed our cheers of 'she's behind you', the bandits exit and the heist is on. I should mention that unlike the colleague teacher in last weeks report, the boutique owner deftly made her mark with just three lines, the pinnacle of which were her attempting to pull Lucas...the bit of rough.

Oh and there is some more nonsense with Jarrodd and Paul and the New York woman Diana and Jarrod is now in a spin between them both. It's telling that I can't tell you what is going on there. It's getting pretty complex...that's Lassiters.

Spoiler alert

No television for me today but rather excited to post again on this new record of television depravity, so I had a look online for some dirt to fill in the gaps. Here is what an official Neighbours website lists as upcoming. It will disappoint.

Also departing Erinsborough is Blake O'Leary, as young Ben Fitzgerald leaves to attend a school for the gifted. Though it is possible he may be recast further down the track, there are currently no plans for the character to return. Ben will make his final appearance on Australian screens in September.

And finally, Eve Morey, who has been appearing for over a year in the recurring role of dog trainer Sonya Mitchell, has been upgraded to a regular cast member. The character will be seen reuniting with Toadie and making a more permanent home on Ramsay Street as the truth about Toadie and Steph's sham marriage comes out.

Disappointing isn't it. Frankly losing Ben Fitzgerald will be like losing a bad poo in the morning - no bad thing. Sonya is a schmuck to return to the burning ship that is Jared Toady Rebecchi. What can be the lure? The pizza grease lips? The copied from a text book style with which he practices 'the law'? His identikit obese son?

Oh for the good old days when Helen roamed the Ungabungas, you couldn't tell Des and Rob Godbold apart and Todd brought high tops home to the masses.

1 September 2010

Todays gathering of douchebags wasn't a landmark episode but featured classic neighbours touches - moments that reward in a day of relative mediocracy. We shall see these in due course.

There seemed to be just two bones of contention today. One - would Libby (fat shoulders) get over herself and cave for the new Head of Erinsborough High, who seems to be equally stubborn. He is repeatedly incensed by her as she him. I have no recollection of his name but he is palling up with Lucas - a pairing which ensures that the web of lies and deceit around Dan and the Stoad baby further suffocates past, present and future relationships on the street. If Callum and Sophie get away without being found, bound and drowned with the placenta on the floor of the Ramsey's swimming pool it will be a miracle, such is the tangle of this messy mess.

Two - the daughter (Tasha/Natasha) of the new Head whose name I can't remember is edging to international modeling success thanks to the new face of Lassiters campaign that she has secured, having bribed Paul on the back of securing him the school's catering contract. I don't need to spell out the script finesse of this business mismatch. A fine example of the self knowing that we value in this special soap opera. However Paul has had to pull the campaign because its too expensive (what?) and he is on the brink of turning into Demi Moore in that film where she has to sleep with the rich guy to get a million dollars for her and Woody Harrelson. The woman from New York (Lydia?) is now bribing him for sex; does she realise that this figure of success has a wooden leg? Will they make him kick it off again in a tempestuous love scene? It doesn't bear thinking about. Let's hope that no one walks in on them....oh they do... Tasha is fuming at the absence of posters and flyers in the Lassiters complex featuring her well covered face (they say the camera adds 10lbs) - 'nobody does this to Natasha whatever her name is' - third person and more self knowing. Andrew the scottish fop and Natasha's beef, has been sent in by Paul to smooth this over because he 'doesn't need this flaring up' while the NY bird is in town. Again, such concern from someone flying the flag of an international group of hotels over a school girls vegemite fuelled threats...it's joyous. Sadly Andrew and his twisted up accent have failed (again) and the couple are no longer. She submits her status on facebook and the deed is done. It's a weighty reference. Unfortunately they are clearly still hot for each other so this will burn on for a couple more years - thank god for our commitment.

Back to Libby and her issues. Charlie's bar is the scene of a teacher's dinner, organised to celebrate Kate's decision to become a teacher (er, wasn't she just a waitress and wannabe dancer). Now a fully fledged member of the Australian NUT she and Lucas, who is also a teacher (what? - mechanics or photography who knows) have decided that Head and Libby need to get along. This follows a painful minute of filming where a staff meeting was called to discuss whether the teachers should be called by their first names. Stiff Libby thought that this would lead to dissin' and so on but Head thought that it was a great way to encourage communication and progress. The scene is set for two 'loggerheads' at it, over at the pergoda on the lake. The teachers at the meeting numbered 6. They voted in favour of the familiar greeting so Libby is seriously naffed off now. Uncomfortable moment - the non-speaking part teacher who had to intimate silently that Libby should come along to the 'Kate's-become-a-teacher' dinner. Well done. You won't go far.

As you can imagine the dinner is a disaster but rescued finally by some drunken flirtings between Head and Stiff Libby. They are then seen the next day in Harold's, both wearing dark glasses indoors and drinking gatoraid or something recovery. The suggestion is that they got very drunk, but its so unbelievable that Charlies would offer the level of debauchery suggested by their accessories, that the image is really of two young blind professionals indulging in some revolting neon drinks.

More to follow.